head empty no thoughts
head on backwards
eyes staring into the past
like beams of light in a thick endless fog
there’s so much anxiety
my brain is wrapped within like bubble wrap
I close the door and leave the house
with my unhappy face on
I close the door and dim the lights
and take off my unhappy face
to put on an even unhappier face
I don’t have any reason for the things I do
My being, like my anxiety, is a clusterfuck
It’s like rolling 3 die when you’d rather roll 2 die
It’s like stepping into dogshit in your own home
and you don’t own a dog
sometimes I just get really really angry
I feel all my expressions scrunch up like a paper ball
my shoulder’s arc slowly rising like a tide
and my head is empty
with no thoughts but
some kind of unnamed anger of sorts
some would call it sociopathy
but they would not understand what that means
some would call it anxiety
but like me they’re an armchair therapist
writing down patient notes on an imaginary clipboard
in the plush white chamber of their straitjacket lives
spent going 9 – 5 and then some more to build the wealth of somebody else
who will never work a day in the whole of their lives
as the entire planet becomes a hardboiled egg
and evil men wearing average faces rise into power
and all good is lost
and I’m just here writing about something which doesn’t make money

Freewriting Explanation: Every day, Valen shall use 5 minutes to write completely unprompted and uninterrupted, letting the words lead the way. There is no end purpose to each piece, but rather, the pieces are allowed to develop naturally in their own way. The pieces are then uploaded without edits.